If you build it, they will come

Maybe it's cheesy, but I've always been drawn to stories where the protagonist builds something because of a calling.

I relate to it. It's how I built my business, SheChanges, which is now in its 20th year.

I was scrolling through movies last weekend and saw Field of Dreams with Kevin Costner, remembering how much it resonated with me in 1989 when I was a sophomore at Rutgers. I loved the idea of extraordinary moments finding me on ordinary days.

Quietly. Simply. Humbly.

There he was just minding his business in a cornfield in Iowa when he heard this voice tell him:

If you build it, he will come.

If you saw the movie, you'll remember he had no earthy idea what was being asked of him, let alone who was asking. He thought he was crazy. No one else seemed to hear the question he heard in the cornfield—or sense the substance of the request.

"I have just created something totally illogical...", Kevin Costner admits with a smile on his face. And his wife responds, "That's what I like about it."

I know that sensation well. I feel you, Kevin. And my Todd is your Annie.

I get the moment something demands you do something that doesn't quite make sense.
Because no one is asking for it. No one needs or wants it.
You can get away without doing it...
And yet...the call.

To invest in something that doesn't have a guaranteed return.

It's a leap of faith, not a strategy.
If you think about it, it's the essence of love.
It's taken and given without guarantees.

There are so many misconceptions about that moment of inspired action that seizes you (and please don't play possum and pretend it hasn't—I've worked with way to many people to know otherwise...think of saying yes to an invitation, falling in love, switching your major, dropping out of college, signing up for that class or program, turning down that job offer that looked so good on paper, stepping away from that relationship you'd spend so many years cultivating...).

All leaps of faith.

We have these romantic (and inaccurate) stories about what it feels like when we're called to do something different, scary, or unplanned. And sadly, those stories are eroding our ability to recognize those moments when they happen—they get dismissed, stepped over, cast aside. Missed. And that breaks my heart.

For instance, we talk about lightning bolts of inspiration (from where I sit, it rarely happens—how many people do you know that have gotten struck by lightning? Exactly.)

We talk ad nauseam about knowing our why, the need to have a plan, build a roadmap, double-down on promotion, performance and profits. And we've called that success. Pfft.

Let me tell you what I see from where I sit because I've been behind closed doors with these people for the past twenty years. I'm the one who meets them in the middle of their cornfields in Iowa when they're having their Kevin Costner moments. Inevitably, they say:

Is this crazy, Lael?
Am I delusional, Lael?
This makes NO sense, right Lael?

I assure you, these people don't know what they're doing as you seem to think they do...they're riddled with doubt, insecurities, and questions. They're having very human and natural reactions to disruption.

These people aren't confident as you think they are...they're terrified, they feel crazy, even dangerous. They're having very human and natural reactions to fear.

And contrary to what you might think, these people wouldn't describe themselves as impulsive, rash, bold or even adventurous. They are often very measured, calculating, and strategic. In fact, they'd call themselves deliberate, methodical, responsible and sensible thinkers and doers, not leapers.

None of them, to my knowledge, have ever walked over hot coals at a wellness retreat, jumped out of a plane, or bungee jumped off a bridge.

People don't believe me when I tell them stuff like this. They like to imagine them as characters like Trinity, Elastigirl, or Lara Croft. But if you've work with me, you've lived it. You know what that leap of faith feels like—and it looks nothing like those characters.

You know the cornfield. You remember how alone or crazy you felt because something deep inside you was telling you it was time to take a leap of faith—even though you didn't feel ready, even though you didn't know what would happen next or if it would be worth it.

If you build it (take the leap, quit your job, demand the promotion, make the pitch, design the course, write the book, start the business, invest in yourself...), they will come (the clients, the followers, the readers, the audience members, the rewards...)

We don't teach that in schools. But it's talked about behind closed doors. And cornfields.

So, is this the sign you've been waiting for? Maybe you opened this email today for a reason.

Sometimes the signs are subtle, but they're often right in your face.
If you open your eyes, that is.

Another favorite scene of mine is from the movie Under the Tuscan Sun when Diane Lane's character says "STOP THE BUS!" when she spots a For Sale sign out the window of her tour bus as she's riding through town. You see the bus pull away and you realize she's not on it—and see her standing, stunned, outside a bedraggled villa that will eventually become her home.

Against all odds, without knowing exactly why, she got off the bus.

A local passing by asks her if she's going to buy the place, and she scoffs saying that would be a terrible idea. The local, licking an ice cream cone with a twinkle in her eye says, "terrible ideas... don't you just love those?"

A friend assures her she might not be as crazy as she thinks, reminding her that long before they designed an engine strong enough to climb over the mountains of Italy, they built tracks—because they imagined someone would eventually build the train that would need those tracks.

A baseball diamond in the middle of a cornfield in Iowa.
A home in a falling-down building in a foreign land.
A set of tracks before there was a train.

All terrible ideas. All leaps of faith.

So what's yours, ?

Will you choose to honor what your instincts are telling you to do? Will you believe in you—and your dreams—instead of believing your fears and doubts?

It's not an easy ask. It's a heretical one because it asks you to swim upstream, against the tide of conventional thought. But I'm asking you anyway.

Because if you're following me and you've read this far, I suspect you've got it in you—even if you're tired, overwhelmed, or don't yet believe in yourself (that's why they call it a leap of FAITH, btw...)

Here's why your answer matters to all of us at this particular time in history:

We have designed a world that has systematically eroded our curiosity, creativity and imagination and we are currently feeling the effects of that. It's killing us (and our planet).

We have built a society that values the immediate needs of a select few, instead of designing and investing in what will serve humanity as a whole looking ten generations into our future.

We have been trained to wait until we know something for certain, rather than design, organize, and mobilize around the unknown. And our resourcefulness has atrophied.

Everything I have ever built at SheChanges was created before anyone asked for it. I built it before I had an audience that I knew would come. I built my Homecoming women's retreat and ran it three times on a lake for 150 women. I created six different women's circles and have run them for hundreds of women. I created SheSpeaks, my evening of women's storytelling event before I knew I was a storyteller and held it 15 times here in Portland. I wrote my two books before I realized I was a writer. And most recently, I've created keynotes and Speakeasies before I had a reason.

I didn't wait to know. I built it without knowing.
I built those when I felt crazy, delusional and totally alone.
I built those when it made no sense because no one was asking me to.
I built those when I was scared and insecure, not confident and sure-footed.

But all of them? I build them with love—and lots of it.

So here's to building a world we want to live in with love.
Here's to trying new things that scare us before we're ready.
Here's to making leaps of faith without guarantees.

I know you've got a leap in you, . I feel it.

So if you're over wondering if you're nuts for thinking about quitting that job that's sucked the marrow from your bones for too long, if you're thinking of finally starting that business you've been talking about for years, writing that book, making your move, putting your hat in the ring, trying something new, saying yes to that dream you've put off for "someday"...let me be your first call.

You don't have to know for sure. You just have to wonder what if...and then take one step. Let a call with me be your first step.

I know the terrain of these leaps—I've lived many and guided hundreds through them who say this.
I know the art and the science of them.
I know the ins and outs, highs and lows, and push and pulls of them.
I've got tips, tricks, tools, strategies, models, frameworks and resources to grease the skids.

But mostly? I've got lots of love. Because I know how freaking lonely it can be in that cornfield. And I love this world so damn much, I'm willing to let my heart break open for it.

Thank you so much for being a part of this community with me. I'm so honored to drop into your inbox, and I hope something in here spoke to you. Let me know if did, would you? get I love to hear from you (picture me standing in MY cornfield wondering if anybody is out there...), so please hit reply and let me know if this found a home in you, will you? And why you're at it, maybe share it with a friend who could use it?

We could all use a good sign and a love nudge these days.

Mwah.

Lael

PS Did you catch this excerpt from my keynotes from the In Her Words conference? Or check out the speaker reel for my keynote to give you a flavor of how I'm working to debunk the myths we have around change—and the one phrase that has been used against us to preserve the status quo. Contact me if you're interested in booking me for a keynote for your event.

PPS: I have a client openings in September if you have had the urge or inclination to work 1:1 with me, please reach out to me sooner than later so we can see if we're meant to do some work together. Or schedule a single session with me and we'll try each other on for size to see if it feels right. Not for you now, but maybe someone else you know? I'd be honored if you'd send this invitation their way with a love nudge to reach out.

+ If you're hungry for more of my favorite resources, head on over to the Community Garden I set up for my subscribers. It's free to use and all ours, with loads of things to watch, listen to, read, and play with. All of my favorite things in one place.